i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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