bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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