that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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