i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
