U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Randomize
