i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
