Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
