Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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