The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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