Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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