do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
