she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
