Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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