Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
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he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
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I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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