forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
