Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize