Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
