All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
what is it with giant penises always finding me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize