There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
