We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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