theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
