Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
