census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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