I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
