So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
