if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize