Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
