bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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