We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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