dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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