Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
