i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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