I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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