I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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