I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize