The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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