I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
