And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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