I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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