I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
