we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my shit smells like andre
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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