do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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