god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
