Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
