fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
