sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
