apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
