This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
