i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
