i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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