So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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