So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
