Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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