we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
