wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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