I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
