Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You pole danced in your parka.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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