This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
