so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Can you bring me the toilet please
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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