You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
