she looked like the bat from fern gully.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
