we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
