He is an equal opportunity slut.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
