We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
