i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
