I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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