Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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