And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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